Mercury is in Gatorade
It’s that time of the year where we try to figure out which planet we can blame our problems on.
Days sober: 19
Has anything weird happened to you this week? Because the last five days have really thrown me for a loop and the reality of sobriety has set in. Maybe I can blame this on the planets. There are just so many (like three lol) random things that happened that would normally stress me out and send me on a damage path of meltdowns and lashing out at the people I love. “It’s not YOU, I’m just STRESSED.” Sound familiar?
And now there’s no alcohol to numb it all and make me forget. What the fuck.
First, my phone decided to stop working on Saturday. Sounds like a minor inconvenience. And it would be to a normal person. Also, if you follow me on Instagram, this is why I’ve been MIA. Honest question: how many of you thought I fell off the wagon and was avoiding social media out of guilt and shame? Because that would be a very me thing to do. And on that note, not two days prior to my phone breathing it’s last breath, I decided on a whim to turn on two-factor authentication on my Instagram account so now I can’t even access my profile through my desktop. I’m reduced to patiently (ew) waiting and wishing for my phone to be fixed.
The next thing: My sister-in-law and her wife stayed with us over the weekend. Now, this is a pleasant thing and I’m happy it happened because I adore them. HOW-EV-ER, I don’t do well with disruptions to my schedule. I skipped my workouts for three days, my house was a mess and I didn’t do my weekend checklist to get ready for the week (side note: if any of you are interested in seeing that checklist template, drop a comment and I will email it to you). Not getting stuff done that I deem essential makes me cranky.
The last thing: MONEY. I remembered a parking ticket I never paid; an old utility bill that I thought I had paid off magically resurfaced; and a bunch of pending charges on my new debit card took days to post, so I had wayyy less money than I thought I did. I don’t like financial surprises unless I’m on the receiving end. I’m sure you relate.
If any one of these things happened last year I would have been a stressed-out mess. Drinking Me would freeze if I was overwhelmed and at that point it becomes a chicken-or-the-egg type situation: I get stressed so I drink, then because I’m drinking I don’t do the things I need to do to get out of the stress-mess so I drink more.
This week I’m able to just deal with it. My world isn’t ending because I don’t have a phone. My life isn’t a mess because I didn’t do my checklist Sunday. I’m not poor because I forgot to pay a bill. I will live, and I’ll do it without having a nervous breakdown over an unswept floor.